Viewing ourselves as a nation of individuals, it’s easy to feel like we have nothing in common. Yet, with a little effort it’s truly remarkable to discover just how much we all have to talk about. When was the last time you walked into a bar or a coffee shop and struck up a conversation with a random stranger, even if it lasted for just a few minutes?
Back when I graduated High School in Pennsylvania, which really wasn’t all that long ago, I lived about 45 minutes from the nearest shopping mall in any direction. Doing something as simple as stopping in for gas meant that you were likely to run into someone you knew. Casual conversation was just a natural part of life, and I took it for granted. Then I grew up.
I went through a phase that I believe many people have shared with me at some point. It felt impossible to relate to people. Then a strange thing happened. I ran into a professor at RIT who gave me some sage advice: “You’d be surprised at how much you have to talk about with anyone” and “Get a vice, try safe one like coffee since cigarettes are on their way out now!” The coffee worked, and the rest followed. Then I read Alexis de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America. Tocqueville defines, in 1835, the American predicament better than anyone I’ve ever read:
In the United States, the majority undertakes to supply a multitude of ready-made opinions for the use of individuals, who are thus relieved from the necessity of forming opinions of their own.
Thus in our naivety, many of us perceive ourselves as incompatible individuals, quickly latching on to a subset of the veritable mass of prescribed opinions. It’s no wonder so many of us have a hard time building relationships at work or in leisure (myself included as a work in progress). If universal truths do exist, they’ll be found and strengthened by discussing our thoughts, establishing a common ground, forming better opinions, and for God’s sake being political. One could call that community life. That doesn’t mean discussing democrat vs republican party platform rhetoric; to me it means discussing the human condition, contemplating great questions! Such is my lifelong battle against mainstream relativism.